My husband and I suffered two miscarriages in 2019. We lost our first child in February and our second in July. I had never felt grief like the grief I felt in losing my children.
Words were of no comfort to me; my heart was hardened towards God’s Word and prayer for months. My faith never wavered; I knew this was a stage in my grief that I would eventually make my way through. But man was I angry. Why were my wants and desires for my children not acknowledged by God...Why were my prayers for a healthy baby and pregnancy unanswered? I wallowed, to my own detriment, for months. Well-meaning people would say hurtful things, so I avoided any and all conversation to save them the hassle of trying to find words of comfort when there were none. Where was God in all of this?
It wasn’t until a friend directed me to the book of Job that I became so much more cognizant of God’s view of our lost children.
Job loses everything. All 10 of his children, his land, his livestock, even his own health. Job dwells in his misery, and yet he holds to his faith recognizing that God has not truly abandoned him. Job is faithful and patient, waiting to see what purpose God has for Job’s misery. He is eventually reconciled to God and the Lord gives him back double of all he lost. Job had 7,000 sheep at first, God gave him 14,000. He had 3000 camels; God gave him 6,000 and so on.
The most interesting thing about this is that Job lost 7 sons and 3 daughters. 10 children in total. When God restored all that Job had lost, he gave him 7 more sons and 3 more daughters. 10 children. If God was doubling Job’s blessings, why not 14 sons and 6 daughters? Why not 20 more children?
Because children can’t be replaced.
Children that are lost are still our children. Job still had those 7 sons and 3 daughters that he lost, they were still his children. Their death did not change the fact that they were his children.
Job now had 7 sons and 3 daughters in the arms of the Lord and now 7 more sons and 3 more daughters. God gave Job 10 more children not to replace those he’d lost, but to double his blessings.
Children lost in miscarriage are still our children. The chasm of death does not change that.
Mother’s Day is a wonderful tribute to the hard work and selflessness of all mothers. But Mother’s Day can be difficult for some. Some of the women who have entered the Redeeming Life program have lost previous children to miscarriage, some have lost custody of their children, and some have had prior abortions. Many struggle with a toxic or non-existent relationship with their own mothers. But in our maternity home we’re given the opportunity to promote motherhood from conception, no matter the journey our residents are on.
We are able to walk with them through the messiness of child loss in any shape or form and honor life, and to honor motherhood from conception.
Not only do we give our postpartum residents Mother’s Day gifts, but also our pregnant mothers. In doing so we reinforce their important role as mothers even in pregnancy. If we honor motherhood from conception, we honor life from conception.
My husband and I were blessed with a healthy baby boy almost exactly one year ago from today.
Today as we honor all the women who have journeyed through motherhood, don’t forget to honor the mothers in your life who have experienced loss. And maybe consider blessing the pregnant mothers or mothers of loss in your life with a Mother’s Day greeting or gift!
Redeeming Life Outreach Ministries is headquartered in Sanford, Florida where it began in 2013 with a vision and a Christ-centered maternity home to help single moms in crisis pregnancy situations who courageously chose life for their unborn babies. Several years later, RL opened a transition home to allow moms and babies to live in a sheltered environment while continuing to build job skills and complete educational goals before living independently. An expansion into the Chicago area is planned for 2023 with an additional maternity home opening in the northwest suburbs. Redeeming Life’s program offers moms more than just housing with the inclusion of a life skills curriculum, support for education and job skill training, a family-like setting, and the personal and spiritual support to build a successful and independent life.
For more information, visit rlom.org.